One Last Choice
by GilmoreGirlAddict
Summary: [OneShot Songfic] 'We need to talk,' I said suddenly, out of nowhere. 'Sit down.' For a minute he just stared at me, but then when I was silent he shook his head and started back to the door. [Based on How to Save a Life]


**One Last Choice**

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing, but the plotline, which is kind of based on the song. The characters are owned by the owners of the Suite Life of Zack and Cody television show, and the song is "How to Save a Life", which is owned by The Fray.

A sigh escaped my lips as my brother walked from his room, shutting the door behind him. He walked towards the door that led out to the hallway of our suite, not even once glancing at me. But try as I might, I couldn't stop looking at him. I tried to blink, I tried to tear my eyes away from my brother's form, but I couldn't. I knew this had to be done, and it had to be done now. "Stop," I said out of nowhere, and he spun around quickly in his surprise, his sandy blond hair falling in his eyes and around his face. "We need to talk."

_Step one you say we need to talk  
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk  
He smiles politely back at you  
You stare politely right on through_

For a minute he just stared at me, but then when I was silent he shook his head in slight annoyance andjust turned back to the door and started walking again. "Just sit down," I said. His hand was on the doorknob now; it turned slightly. "Sit down," I repeated. His hand slowly moved from the doorknob to his side. But he didn't move. Not for a minute, at least. He just stood there, staring at the door.

Finally, he turned to face me, but his eyes never did meet mine. He glanced at my face, still not meeting my eyes, before sitting down in a chair. "Thank you," I whispered. No reply. I sat down on the couch, and for a moment everything was silent. Then he forced a smile at me; I just looked him over. Soon enough, after only around a minute, he stood and walked back to the door. I sighed again, my eyes following his body as he walked towards the door. "Sit down," I said for the last time. Obviously annoyed, he sat back down, this time not even bothering to look at me. '_Why won't he speak? Why am I trying to do this?' _I thought, looking at my irritated brother.

_  
Some sort of window to your right  
As he goes left and you stay right   
Between the lines of fear and blame  
And you begin to wonder why you came  
_

I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. My mouth clamped shut. My eyelids closed, and when they fluttered open again my brother was still there, staring at me, waiting. My mouth opened again, and this time some odd sound came out. Not what I was hoping for. "Okay, what do you want?" he finally demanded, but, oddly, not in an angry voice. "I'm tired of just sitting here. I have things to do. So hurry it up."

"You know what I want," I was able to whisper, my eyes finally connecting with his. A surge of fear and guilt went through me, and tears formed in my eyes. "You know what I want." This time, he was silent. He said nothing. He just continued to stare, his eyes boring into mine, mine boring into his.

_  
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness   
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life  
_

It was soon apparent to me that he wasn't going to say anything, so I continued. "You know what I want, you know what you did. And you know that it's wrong. How could you? Mom and I... we've told you so many times not to, so many times to stop. And so many times you said you never would, so many times you promised you'd never do it again. And yet, you always broke your promises. Why? Why would you hurt us like that?"

"Mom's dead," he said, and this time I heard no emotion in his voice. "We're seventeen now, taking care of ourselves and each other. How I choose to live my life is _my _business, not your's."

"Look," I said, still calmly, "I did drugs for a year, before you started them. I broke away from them, and you can do the same. You _need _to do the same. It's only a matter of time before you can't break away."

"I can break away any time I want," he said stubbornly. "I'm not addicted. It's just somethin' I'm trying out."

"That's what you think now," I replied, as he broke eye contact with me. "But later, it'll just grow to more. Until you are addicted."

"It's just a bit of fun and games. That's all life is. When I feel like it's too much, when it's no longer fun, I'll quit."

"You're lying," I said quietly.

_  
Let him know that you know best  
Cause after all you do know best  
Try to slip past his defense  
Without granting innocence _

"You know that's not true. You're just trying to convince yourself... And you know that you're wrong. You know that this isn't right, and you know that you need to stop."

"Just.. stop, dammit!" he cried. "Stop trying to tell me that I'm wrong here. That I'm lying to myself."

"You know that drugs are wrong. You know it. You know that you're too young to smoke. You know that you're too young to drink. You know you shouldn't be doing this stuff. And yet, here you are, doing it. Mom and I, we've been trying to tell you this all along. But why wouldn't you listen? Will you listen now? Do you know what this stuff is doing to you?"

_  
Lay down a list of what is wrong  
The things you've told him all along  
And pray to God he hears you  
And pray to God he hears you  
_

He hesitated. He_ hesitated_. He just stopped altogether, looking at the wall, eyes only half-way open. And then he turned back to me. "I listened, I just didn't... make it stick." I scoffed. That was all he had to say for himself? He didn't make it _stick? _"I didn't really pay attention. I didn't take it seriously."

"But you knew it was wrong; you've heard, you've _seen_, what drugs can do to you. And now those exact things might just happen to you, too."

_  
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness   
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life  
_

"I don't need your frikkin' lecture! I'm hearing what you're saying, there's no need to be so damn repetitive," he shouted. At first, I was shocked by his sudden outburst. But taking a deep breath made me calmer.

My voice quiet, I said slowly, "You need to choose now. Either keep going on like you're going, or just stop now. Keep going and eventually, everything will get so screwed up you can't fix it. Break away from the drugs and you'll find the way to fix all the damage you've caused to yourself and others."

_  
As he begins to raise his voice  
You lower yours and grant him one last choice  
Drive until you lose the road  
Or break with the ones you've followed_

"You always said that I needed to find myself," he said after a minute's pause, sitting down and staring at the wall. "You always said that I needed to figure out who I was inside, that I needed to figure out who I wanted to be and what I wanted to do. You said that everything would end up all right if I went the way I was supposed to, and every choice I made formed my destiny. That the right choice wasn't always the choice we were supposed to make. That the choice we were supposed to make was sometimes the wrong choice, but that, in the end, everything would all turn the way that it was supposed to be. That even if the choice we made wasn't right in someone else's eyes, but it was the one for us in our own eyes, then it was the one we needed to make. That if the right choice was wrong in our eyes, then that was the wrong choice... That if the wrong choice was right in our eyes, then that was the right choice."

_  
He will do one of two things  
He will admit to everything  
Or he'll say he's just not the same  
And you'll begin to wonder why you came  
_

My eyes never left my brother's face. I knew that I had said those words, that I had given him that speech. Those were my words. But in what way did he mean them? Did he mean to use them against me, and use them as the reason he would choose to keep going? Did he mean to use them as a way to thank me, to say that he was going to break away from the drugs? I bit my lip back, not sure of what his answer was. All I knew was that he didn't seem to be the brother I had once known. Maybe, had I talked to him when he needed it, we wouldn't be in this position. Maybe, had I been there to comfort him when he needed a friend, this wouldn't be happening. Maybe, if I had encouraged him through the hard parts instead of putting him down, he never would have done drugs. But how was I to know that I would lose my best friend through the hard times? That he would disappear completely, taken over by some... some... some _monster?_

_  
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness   
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life _

"So what are you saying?" I finally asked, feeling hopeful but, at the same time, fearful that he would say that he was going to keep doing drugs, no matter how bad he knew they were. In my mind, I prayed and prayed to the Lord above that my brother go for what was right... What was the right choice for everyone in the world. That he'd say he would break away, that he was changing, that drugs were going to be forced out of his life forever. That he and drugs were over, that enough was enough and that he had had enough.

_  
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness   
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life  
How to save a life  
How to save a life  
_

I got no reply, there was dead silence in the room for at least five minutes. I could hear shoes hitting the hallway's carpet outside as someone walked towards the elevator, I could hear the elevator ding, I could hear the vibration of a cell phone out in the hall, then someone answering it with, "Hello?" And all this time my brother didn't even mumble a word, he didn't even open his mouth to speak. He didn't look at me, he just stared at the wall, hardly blinking. "Again, I ask, what does this mean?"

His hands moved to his knees, and his mouth finally opened; but I noticed that his stomach moved in and out as he took a deep breath. What was taking him so long? I didn't mind the wait, but I couldn't help but wonder why he wasn't speaking. It couldn't be that hard for him... Could it? I took a deep breath, my eyes finally drifting from him to the wall he was staring at. Nothing was there... Nothing but a wall. "What did you choose?" I asked again.

_  
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness   
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life _

Then he stood, eyes seeming to be glued to the door. His mouth opened, then he shut it again; I took the time to stand up as well, my eyes shutting for a brief moment. When I opened my eyes once more, my brother was no longer right beside the couch, but instead a few feet in front of me. His eyes were still on the wall. _'Why is he still staring at the wall?' _I wondered. I bit back my lip as his mouth opened again, and a few seconds later words finally flowed from it. "I've taken everything you've said to me today and the past into consideration..." he started, then finally looked at me. I nodded, not quite sure where this was going, but liking the words that came from his mouth all the same. "And I've definitely made up my mind." He took a few more steps towards the door.__

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness   
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life

"This is what is right for me, it feels right, it is right. And you always said to go with your heart. And you... You helped me with my decision, in a way. You gave me all the courage I have." I took another deep breath, letting it out slowly.

"I'm leaving. I'm continuing what I'm doing. I'm just not the same."

"You can't---" I started, but he cut me off by opening the door.

"Goodbye, Cody."

_  
How to save a life..._


End file.
